In the conclusion of this guest-blog series, Alexis shares about her Rainbow Baby. (You can also catch up on her Molar Pregnancy post and Alexis’ Birth Story if you missed them!)
“The phrase “rainbow baby” is the understanding that the beauty of the rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When the rainbow appears, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the storm never happened or that the family is not dealing still with the aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared amid the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.
“I have reflected where I have walked the last 24+ months. 24+ months ago, I walked into my midwife’s appointment excited to see a precious baby on the screen at 12 weeks pregnant. That same day, my life flipped upside down as I was fronted with the words such as, “tumor,” “cancer possible,” and “molar pregnancy.” 18 months ago, I was put under for the first time to remove what should have been a baby, but instead was a tumor. That day started a 8 week journey of weekly blood draws, horrible anxiety awaiting for HCG results, wondering if I will ever be strong enough to try to carry a baby again.
“In September, I felt ready enough to try again! We conceived almost immediately. There was hope. We were anxiously excited, but just moments before our first appointment, the spotting began. I knew, that sweet baby had left just as fast as he/she arrived.
“Again, I built up enough confidence to try AGAIN. From bi-weekly ultrasounds, to monthly ultrasounds to finally making it to birth, Luke has been my rainbow. While there were moments I felt disconnected from him growing within me simply due to fear, I just hoped and prayed for the rainbow at the end.
“Today, I count my blessings knowing that he is MY rainbow. He is helping heal the wounds from the last 24 months.”